Is Letting Go Hard For You?

The following is a transcript from my podcast: Love Notes From a Soul Coach. Learn more here :)

I like to keep notes on topics or ideas that I think would be meaningful to share on my podcast. One of them that came up recently is something I refer to as “spiritual anemia”. It’s when the ever-compelling list of to-do’s of my human existence eclipses the quieter needs of my soul, and I find myself vacuuming my yoga mat on my way to stretching out and meditating on it. And then, in the process of vacuuming, I notice the waste basket under my desk needs to be emptied and then before you know it the morning is gone and I have a clean house but a messy head and I’m riding that momentum of DOING, DOING, DOING.

DOING with very little being.

I can get away with this for a certain amount of time but it always catches up. And this is what it feels like when it catches up — maybe you can relate — I start to feel agitated and emotionally disregulated. In this hard to pin-point way. Things just bother me. I feel the absence of peace. Which then becomes this subtle, upsetting dissatisfaction that kinda runs through everything.

And I find that part interesting because these tangents I go down that create the spiritual anemia in the first place are super satisfying in the beginning. It feels so good to check the boxes. Because it makes us feel like we’re winning the battle against time that most of us are engaged in unconsciously the majority of our lives.

The idea is: if I can get all of my tasks done, I’m ahead of the giant snowball that’s rolling down the hill toward me. I can’t enjoy my life unless I get ahead of that snowball. Otherwise the pressure of knowing it’s hurtling toward me is too much.

But of course that snowball is imaginary. It’s a figment of our Egos. It’s a story they tell us.

If you can just run fast enough, get everything done, you’ll win. You’ll be happy. It’s that whole paradigm of: “I’ll be happy when…”

Conditional happiness.
Conditional peace.

These are the real thieves of our contentment. Not being behind on our to-do lists. Not the circumstances of our lives — but how we’re RELATING to our circumstances.

So when I go amnesiac about all of this and find myself devoting myself to too many things that are of the Ego and not of the…