What the Heck Does ‘Let it go’ Even Mean?

Mary Welch Official
7 min readJan 17, 2023
The following is a transcript from episode 3 of my podcast Love Notes From a Soul Coach.

I heard that Elizabeth Fraser, the lead singer of the Cocteau Twins, held her newborn baby when she was recording Heaven or Las Vegas. I don’t know if that’s true but it’s such a tender image isn’t it?

As I record my podcast, I’m living a slightly more ridiculous version of that story — I have a 7 lbs toy poodle who insists on sitting on my lap for each recording. But so far she’s been a quiet little interloper so it hasn’t been a problem. And honestly, I don’t really know who I am if there isn’t a dog on me or next to me or begging me for something from me so it would be weird to record these any other way.

In my work with people and in my writing, I like to break down concepts related to healing that feel abstract so we can make them actionable.

Like for instance: the directive to: “Let it go.”

What does that actually mean?

Obviously if we knew how to let something go we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in in the first place.

How are we supposed to let something go that’s stuck to us? Like chewing gum on the bottom of a shoe?

As humans, we think, on average, around 70,000 thoughts per day and most of those are repeats of the day before.

When something is upsetting or worrisome to us, our brains get to work thinking and thinking and thinking about it — like a dog gnawing on a bone. Because that’s the only dance move the conscious mind knows. The brain is a problem solving machine. It wants to solve the problem by thinking about it.

So when we tell ourselves: “Let it go”, our brains are like: “Huh?”

Does not compute.

When we find ourselves struggling with that instruction — to let it go — we start beating ourselves up. Shoot — there’s the thought again, I’m supposed to be letting it go.

And now, not only are we burdened by the thing we’re unable to let go of, we’re upset with ourselves and judging ourselves because we’re struggling.

Adding judgment to suffering just creates more suffering.

Instead of “let it go”, perhaps we can learn to replace the intrusive, repetitive thought.



Mary Welch Official

Check out my book: Love Notes From a Soul Coach + learn more abt my work: marywelch.com